scars remain

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It took so long for those wounds to heal,
The scars, though old, look so unreal,
I try to hide ancient mistakes,
But every time my conscience breaks


How can I describe to you the way in which I am free?
I know that it would only
Hurt you more.

It broke my heart along with yours when
You found out I wanted to
Die so badly, I tried.

I drew your tears from my arms.
Unable to comfort you in your time of need
In my time of need.

I never have and will never be
Ashamed of what I do.
I am happy to escape my feelings with a blade.

But how, how can I tell you — my beloved parents
That I forcefully cut out my pain with the same
Knife you use to feed me?

How? If you could tell me how I would.
I would tell you everything, but I can’t
It is something that can never be told, ever.


I just want someone
to be there, someone who cares.


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